The Great Commission

Friday, I went up to the "Fasting and Prayer Mountain of the World" -- which from the title alone screams out Korean owned -- and I'm glad I did.  The night prior, I listened to a mp3 of an Organic Church Conference seminar by Jaeson Ma of Campus Church Networks.  And  Jaeson kept quoting from an article by YWAM's Floyd McClung on "Apostolic Passion."   And WOW.  That article bopped me over the head.   http://www.fluidmission.com/articles.php?id=15

He spoke of how many of us want the fruit of the Apostle Paul's ministry, but few of us want to pay the cost associated with it.  The suffering, the discipline.  That's totally me.  

In addition, he hammered me with this one on prayer: 

"A young man in Bible school offered to help David Wilkerson years ago when he was ministering on the streets of New York City.  Wilkerson asked how much time he spent in prayer.  The young man estimated about 20 minutes a day.  Wilkerson told him, 'Go back young man.  Go back for a month and pray for two hours a day, every day for 30 days.  When you have done that, come back.  Come back, and I might consider turning you loose on the streets where there is murder, rape, violence, and danger.  If I sent you out now on 20 minutes a day, I'd be sending a soldier into battle without any weapons, and you would get killed.'

You can get into heaven, my friend, without a lot of prayer. You can have a one-minute quiet time every day, and God will still love you, but you won't hear a 'Well done, good and faithful servant' on one-minute conversations with God.  And you certainly can't make it on that kind of prayer life in the hard places where Jesus is not known or worshipped.  Here's a challenge for you: read everything Paul says about prayer, then ask yourself, 'Am I willing to pray like that?'  Paul said that he prayed, 'night and day with tears, without ceasing, with thankfulness in the spirit, constantly and boldly, for godly sorrow, against the evil one.'"

My goodness.  Lord, help me to be a good and faithful servant!  This was haunting me that whole day. 

When I was at the prayer mountain, I felt like I had to surrender my desire for feeling significant, for being "effective" and fruitful, and for being "important" in starting movements.   This is hard for me b/c I don't know how to relate to ministry "success."    But I surprised myself when I asked Jesus, "You can keep me hidden for the rest of my life, but Lord, let me experience the beginning and end of the Great Commission.  Let me experience your authority over heaven and earth.  And let me experience your presence with me until the end of my life."  I don't know where these two things came from, but I felt a peace in my heart about it right away.   If I have these two things I will live a happy life.  

I am still processing this, but something seems right about this.  I don't want significance as much as I want to experience intimate life with Jesus in the harvest.  I want to see with my own two eyes and share with my own mouth that the harvest is plentiful, that Jesus does prepare hearts, that entire oikoses do get saved, that entire villages and regions can be saved, and that the Kingdom of God has arrived in power, and this child of the King is swimming in that Kingdom power, presence and authority.  

I don't have to write a book, don't have to be asked to speak at a conference, don't have to be known.  I just want to know Jesus in this way.